Against my better judgment, I agreed to participate in the office Secret Santa exchange. Glitter pressured me into the thing since she was organizing it. (Note: she has been dressing better since the run-in with with Style Court. The deal to appear on the show fell apart when they asked for pictures of the inside of her closet). Last year Glitter and I fixed the thing so we were able to give gifts to each other. I got a lovely scarf out of the deal though a few coworkers were surprised by the coincidence. This year I pulled an easy name to shop for--what does one buy for a recently divorced man who lives in Tribeca? Bottle of red wine, naturally. The biggest issue was wrapping the thing.
The other week Molly and I were shopping in some store and she showed me some coat hanger-hook thing with two cats on it--one has written "Good cat" and the other, naturally, has "Bad cat". I told her that that item shouldn't be given even to the worst relative, even one with a country-craft fixation. She put the thing back and we agreed never to speak of it again.
Friday afternoon was the office gift exchange. I started rustling through the bag for me and found... the very ugly cat thing.
Me (under breath): Crap
Coworker Bonbon: Don't you love it?
Me: Yes, I love cats!
Bonbon: Everyone said you liked cats.
Me: Yes, I love cats!
Looks like I need to find some relative with a country-craft fixation. On the other hand, I overheard that my gift was not received well. Apparently my giftee suffers from gout and has to avoid red wine. I thought gout never left the 19th century like scurvy and fainting spells. The important lesson reinforced here is that one should not participate in any group gifting activities (aside from this). It ends badly.
